Its been another long while since my last post.
honestly, i've just been seriously exhausted.

you know how you just say smth and nothing gets better?
thats what i feel. so i think i shld just shut up coz everytime i say smth, im making a new enemy
or at least someone who hates me.
it just keeps stacking and stacking.
and it sucks.
i know there are other ppl having problems worse than i am
but i havent experience these kinds of things ok.
like hello?? im kinda new to this coz i havent had problems as serious as these now.
im irritated with one. sad bout one, angry bout one. disturbed etc etc etc.
its all stacking up one by one. and sometimes you just get so tired of hearing the same old thing like. Eunice, studies is more important. Eunice, this is nothing. Eunice. Just forget bout it.
Eunice. its not worth it. Eunice just ignore it. Eunice remember this. Eunice Remember that. Eunice, give it time. Eunice whats wrong with you? Eunice why are you so emo?
Eunice its coz of --- issit? Eunice why do you keep thinking bout him? Eunice You shldnt do this. Eunice you shldnt do that. COME ON PPL!! I GET IT.
sheesh. im not angry or whatever. right now, i dont even think i want the same advice over and over again. like its become so typical alr. maybe im not listening to those advice right. or maybe im just being stupid. Maybe its the same advice over and over again. that i just got so sick and tired of it.
When do i get friends just being there. assuring you everything is gona be alright again?
When do i get friends just lending a shoulder to cry on than to critisize your every move??
When did the whole world come crashing down?
why the cold shoulder??
i mean. i get lots of cold shoulders in one day and many smiles.
Sometimes the many smiles just doesnt add up to just ONE cold shoulder.
yeah im probably looking at it in a negative way right? try looking on the positive side.
but you guys dont get it. sometimes theres too many negatives, that not even a million positives can cover.
you guys ask me bout the --- thing? I DONT KNOW OK! thats it. its not that i dont want to tell. its I DONT KNOW HOW TO!
yeah its for my own good to know these.
sure. everything is for my own good.
but thats not the freakin point.
i just want everything to go away. for one second. let me have some peace in my head.
just blank out on everything, then pick myself up.
we learn when we fall. [ phrase of my friend]
we also learn with help.
when one falls down with roller blades, its hard to get up coz of the wheels.
its just like that. what if i were wearing roller blades? you just gona leave me there and keep falling down again?
yes. there IS a way to get up. but what if i never find that way to get up?
isnt that the same as going back to square one?
Thats how irritated i feel all the time.
and i cant say anth coz i know i shldnt. coz someone out there who knows who the hell he/she is
might have SOMETHING against me and like what? leave me out again?
yeah. then what else?
even my close friends just go against me for smth i nvr did.

anyways. i dont want to go on.
too lazy and tired to type. MTL common test tmr.
im dead.

PS; thanks Hubby , for bein there today (: i really need to talk to you.
Love you loads babe.
Thanks GF (: for your hugs and assurance.

-Eunice-
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